Day 3

$ Spent today: 0.00

1 Frugal thing I did today:  Made biscotti as a host gift  

1 Minimalist thing I did today: Cancelled a ton of catalogs I get in the mail

Well, I was going to make my turkey today, since I was not home yesterday. I like to have my own turkey dinner leftovers. But I been busy baking all morning making 2 kinds of biscotti! It is going to be my hostess gift for Ursula when I go visit today. I am so excited because they turned out very nice. I made chocolate and regular biscotti and will fill up the glass container I minimized out of the house on Day 1.

Remember my poor planning? Well, I had just enough butter to make the biscotti and to make my stuffing. I have decided to make my turkey tomorrow (Saturday) when I am home all day to do nothing. So I have just a touch of butter left until my next shopping day. I think I will be good. Oh, I just thought of mashed potatoes. Well, live and learn. I will remember this for when I make my Christmas dinner. I don’t know if I will do turkey again. Ham. I think I would like to do a ham. Then I can do split pea soup! Now that is frugal!

Every day I get tons of catalogs. Some and I would say ¼ of them I requested myself. And the catalog mailing lists in the sky got my name and address and said, oh she might like this catalog TOO, lets send it. Some where similar and some were out right insulting. BIG WOMEN catalogs. Come on! So I started looking each one up on the internet and on the website I found a spot to tell them to stop sending me the catalog. I had to call Pottery Barn and ask. OH that hurt. So now, every time I get some odd catalog, I find them on the internet and request they stop sending me their stuff. I don’t need it. It wastes paper. I don’t need to look and want to shop or feel inadequate because I don’t own a faux fur rug in front of the fireplace, or turquoise jewelry to wear while sitting on a rock in Sedona.

I don’t have much to say today. I had a most wonderful time with my brother’s family yesterday. He really did it right. He has a beautiful family with kids that really love each other. He has so many years of memories and traditions. It hurts my heart that I did not do the same. I don’t know what is wrong with me that I could not do that. I mean heavy hurt. But there is nothing I can do about that now. I was wrong. I did not do it right. I cannot be negative and I must keep going on and do the best I can with what I have left of my life now. God has certainly spoiled me in many ways. If I listen to some of my spiritual books and podcasts, they say I chose this life before I was even born. I am sorry but I don’t really think I would have chose this. But it is what I have and I must live my best life.

I am so proud of my biscotti’s!!!!!  

Day 2

$ Spent today: 0.00

1 Frugal thing I did today:  BYOB

1 Minimalist thing I did today: Downsized my make up jar

Happy Thanksgiving! The day of giving thanks. I am thankful that God Spoils me every day! So for my frugal thing today, remember my poor planning? Well that will be a theme for the next few days, as I have things planned for this long weekend. I just didn’t plan my shopping list very well. But It is a holiday weekend so I will let it slide. I am going to my niece’s home for dinner to be with my brother’s family. I was almost going to spend some money to buy Perrier’s for me to drink. BYOB, bring your own beverage. But instead, my SECOND most favorite thing besides coffee is herbal teas! I collect them! That’s just a fancy word for saying I buy too many boxes of herbal tea because they look different, cool and interesting. So I have my purse packed with a ton o tea bags for today and tomorrow when I visit! I only buy the organic good stuff. I found a list years ago of the healthiest good teas to buy. The bag is also important. So I buy Yogi, Stash, Traditional Medicinals and Numi.  I have a couple that are not on the list like Constant Comment and Sleepy Time and Bigelow Spearmint because I just love them. So I think that was a pretty good Frugal.

So I woke up this morning and during my coffee time, I immediately re-tweaked my budget 2 week menu and Budget shopping list. I felt last night that I needed to be more healthy. So I substituted a big salad and greens instead of pasta’s and breads. A few other items as well, but I think the tweaking will not be a big change in dollars. Maybe up a tad but hey I need to be healthy. And that is where the herbal tea also ties in. I am allowed to buy 1 new box a shopping trip. As compared to my 2 or three. Because herbal tea is going to be my GO TO when I want to munch on unhealthy snacks. No more caramel corn or Fritos. Swiss Rolls are my downfall, my coworker Mike and I would buy them by the box on Amazon. I have forgone my Milk duds and Swedish fish fetish a year ago. Yes I used to eat all that crap. Baby steps.

My minimalist thing I did today. I was getting ready to head out and putting on my make up. I did downsize my make up a ton ages ago. Threw out so much stuff I bought on a whim at TJ MAXX. Since I work from home I don’t wear a lot of make up any more. Now that I am 60, even less, when I leave the house its just a few things. So I have 3 places where I store make up right now. The stuff I downsized but not ready to part with are in a big make up bag in the cupboard. New eyeshadows and mascaras that I can use once the ones I have run out. Then I have a bag of makeup I used to use every day lets say when I went into the office, a lot of Bare Minerals stuff, eye shadows etc. That is in the medicine cabinet. And then out on my bathroom counter I have the basic stuff I would wear every day just to look normal. A base that I barely put on. Just sponge a hair of it on to make my skin even, mascara, eye shadow, eyebrow stuff, lipstick that I use as blush too. Well, I just noticed I told you ALL that just to tell you  what I did downsize – was a little glass I have where I put my eyebrow pencils, brushes, lip liners. Well THAT is what I downsized to 1 eye brow pencil, 1 lip liner. I had too many make up brushes in there that I never used. And now as I write this it looks like I have more makeup to minimize. But hey that’s all part of the game!

Happy Thanksgiving and don't you DARE go Black Friday shopping today. You don't need it!!!

Day 1

$ Spent today: 0.00

1 Frugal thing I did today:   Using powdered creamer

1 Minimalist thing I did today: Cleaned out a glass cannister for a hostess gift

So here I am on day 1 and I found out I am a terrible planner. Or forgetful. It’s the first day of my fabulous 5 day weekend! What is my most favorite thing to do? Drink coffee in the mornings at my  kitchen nook and watch the sunrise. Coffee makes me get out of bed. Well, as I went to get my creamer out of the fridge, I realized; I forgot to buy my usual  2 organic half and half creamers! Although, creamer is on my budget list. I am going to stick to my guns and try not to spend a cent. I have powdered creamer just for these types of emergencies and for camping. So its powdered creamer until next budget shop.

This morning my cousin Ursula invited me over to her house on Friday. Old anti-social Cyndie would not have gone. But I am ecstatic to go and spend time with ----- MY FAMILY! Its what I want, Its what I asked God for. So its not on my terms and they did not show up on my doorstep how I always wish.  I cant always having things on MY terms. I love my family and I am going.

So of course I do not want to go empty handed. I thought of a lovely idea. So to minimize my home I have really cleaned and washed out a beautiful glass cannister to use as a hostess gift. I no longer need it and its just taking up space. What I do with it will be part of my Day 3. More to come.

The next 2 days are crucial. 1. I will be leaving the house and that always gives me the urge to drink for some reason. 2. I will be with family and what is our main hobby? Drinking. My niece already spoke of mimosas at 11. I did let Ursula know I don’t drink. I know both my brother’s and Ursula’s family will certainly not pressure me once I state I do not drink. It is me. I am not worried I will. Not at all. I  will just have to “be” with my family and “sit” will all the feelings. With no alcohol buzz to numb the “whatever”. That will be interesting. I just never been around my family sober before. Especially Ursula, she is like my sister. My drinking sister. We are like 2 peas in a pod. I have some of the best cherished memories with her, unfortunately we were extremely inebriated for them all. And I am not saying being with my family is an issue. Or unhealthy. It is me. I have an issue being close to anyone. If I get too close I put up walls or sabotage it any way I can.  I don’t think God is testing me. I think he is just showing me, I can do this. And he is throwing the hard stuff at me right away so  that the rest is cake. When I am uncomfortable my flight or flight kicks in, no that’s not a typo. To be good to myself I will have to sit with the uncomfortable feelings if there are any as a Sober Cyndie. At 60 I am going to have to grow up. 

Or I can be making a big deal out of nothing and I will probly have the most wonderful time with my family. I am thankful to God for these opportunities.

Another 30 Days!

I am starting another 30 day challenge since I do well on them, and I kind of like them and it keeps me on track. 

So this challenge is 30 Days of No Spending, Frugal minimalism!  It will start tomorrow, the beginning of my 5 day weekend, and will end on the end of my December 5 day weekend. Oh, how I love my long weekends. I like to tack on PTO days to work holidays to extend the fabness.  

I have already been on a budget and started being frugal and minimalistic for a while now. But my spending creeped in again. Darn Amazon Prime and Wally. 

So the rules are NO SPENDING except for what is on my budget grocery list. Over a month ago I pared down to a budgeted grocery list. Only things I need for 2 weeks. The menu is planned out. Things I love. Like Taco Tuesday! I found I was throwing out much too much food. Because I didn’t have a plan. Bought things at random and it sat there. Like I would grab avacados, but no plan on what I was going to do with them. Sooooo, well you know. Now I have an exact menu. I do allow myself the Tops fish fry on Fridays. I pared down to a budget so I can save money and put anything extra toward my debt. My debt is not crazy high, but my goal is to retire as early as possible. My largest payment is my truck. Yes, it's higher than my mortgage. 

So nothing except what is on my grocery list. Yes I love sweets. I have enough flour and sugar and stuff around here to MAKE my own sweets, which I have. Sugar cookies and chocolate biscotti. So even tho they are not the healthiest. I do know where the ingredients are from. 

No extra buying like stuff from Wally and Amazon Prime. No books. I have enough books bought in the past 2 years physical and Kindle that can last me EONS.  I will do in depth blogs during this 30 day period on my books etc. I am allowed to replace anything that breaks or runs out.( i.e. Coffee maker.. face cream) Definitely NO CLOTHES or shoes. I have quite enough. 

I am also blogging this to keep me honest. When I get bored, that’s when I get in trouble. I may not leave the house that doesn’t hinder me one bit. So I am starting tomorrow so I can do one last shop, I need salad fixings for Thanksgiving at my nieces house. I need to wash the truck. And I have one big box coming from Amazon today, stuff that will make my life easier. Yes an Echo show and lights I can talk to. That was my last big purchase. 

I was doing so well on my Dave Ramsey Snow ball budget. I paid off 8 credits. (5 cards and 1 vacation loan and 2 appliances). I have 4 left to go, around 1000$ each except for that Pottery Barn one. Oh but it was well worth it. I know I know. And then I snowball all the payment amounts toward my Truck. And when that is done I will snowball all into my mortgage. The sooner I do the truck the sooner I could retire. But I am trying to eek it out as long as I can to get the most SSI$. 

I am excited about my next 30 days! That’s why I do these challenges. We shall see, maybe I will turn it into a 365 days no spending. My heart would LOVE to do a 30 day yoga challenge. Maybe that will be next.

Cut the cord

I am a cord cutter. I cut the cord a few months ago. Well, actually I cut the cord once before a couple years ago when Direct TV Now came out with a new streaming service at 35$ a month. I was one of the few beta testers. Not sure they are that low now and they changed their name to ATT TV Now. I got a great deal to come back to Spectrum so I took it and like the frog in slowly boiling water....my Spectrum Bill was  way up again!!!!  So I started to do research.  Let me tell you it was a full 10 minutes and I came upon Philo and they said they had THREE, count em, THREE Hallmark Channels. I literally took a few seconds to sign up, Called Spectrum. The guy at Spectrum was a hoot. I showed him how to show his mother how to watch soap operas on YouTube and to set up a hysterically funny voicemail to ward off robo calls. 

So I still had the OTA (Over the Air) antennae from before. I hooked that up to my tv. I have since ordered a few more for my other 2 TVS. I have 4 in all in my home. I did have 2 DVRS and in this day of on demand. They were not really needed any more. Returned those to Spectrum. 

Here is the reason why it was actually so easy for me to cut the cord. For several years now I have been collecting old TV series DVDs that I love to watch over and over. Party of 5, Everwood, Gilmore Girls, Lost, Charmed, Ghost Whisperer are just a few.  I have since also gotten some super OLD shows like Wiseguy, Vegas and McMillan and Wife. I have Many many more so if I ever did not have internet. I would be fine. Oh, yes, I have stock piled a few DVD players as well in case they go by way of extinction the way VCRs did years ago. 

Also, over a year a go I found Full Episodes of my favorite Soap operas. I used to watch Soaps allllllllllllllllllllll the time. All my life! But lately the few left have gotten too ridiculous. So I do not bother.  When I found old All My Children full episodes on YouTube for FREE I was hooked. Its been just over a year I started with All My Children 1980, I am currently on All My Children 2006! I believe it ended in 2011. I will then move on to General Hospital but this time I will start in the 70s if I can. Most years have between 150-200 episodes. There were a few lean years where there were only 20. But at this rate I have several years of entertainment! I will then move on to Y&R and many more.  Once I found those shows, I also found full episodes of shows I used to love back in the 70s and 80's like Sonny and Cher show, Carol Burnette show etc etc. I have those on my list as well. As long as there is free youtube, I will be just fine. 

Also, my favorite channel (besides Hallmark) is CreateTV. I found it when I lived in Florida and was beside myself when PBS here in Buffalo finally picked it up. I could watch that channel 24/7 as well. That is free with the antennae (on a clear day unfortunately). But with Philo I also have 3 other cooking channels too. Tastemade is a new fav.  That came with Philo and I just love now. I just made the chocolate biscotti recipe last week from that channel. 

So you know me, I am a research freak, I have been on many Cordcutters groups on FB in order to glean information and the latest news. Sometimes the questions on there literally just piss me off. Everyone basically wants EXACTLY WHAT THEY HAVE ON CABLE.  Let me tell you. Since I do no rely on my cable channels I have changed my mindset on the whole TV watching experience. I did mention I had TWO DVRS. Like what did I think I was going to miss? I actually feel FREE and not limited any more. I have found so many new and free apps. New shows and networks or channels. I was a little sad when my CreateTV would not come in during bad weather. I mean really sad. But I looked for different cooking channels and found Tastemade and many others. I have broadened my horizons for sure!!! 

Oh, I do donate 6$ a month to PBS so I can have unlimited access to PBS shows on the Passport app as well. I literally do not have time to watch everything I want to any more.    I went from 213$ to just internet they told me 70$ a month incl modem and taxes etc. but my bill was for 74$. Philo is 20$, you had me at 3 Hallmark channels and NO SPORTS. and 6$ a month for PBS Passport.  100$ not bad. Not bad at all. I am a Roku person and have had many Rokus over the years. I now have 2 and 1 Roku TV. Between all the apps and on demand TV is a whole different experience. I like my books non fiction and I like my TV that way too. More documentary, cooking, how to. 

Since I have cut the cord I also don't feel like I am missing anything If I miss a show. I can take or leave tv. I used to have it on all the time. But sometimes on the weekends I just like the sound of silence while I read books. I have to have internet because I work from home. I may try an experiment when I retire. To do with out it. I mean I have my iPhone and a hot spot. I won't stream and who knows what 5G we will have in 3 years so......We shall see........... 

Magic Windows

Oh the magic-ness of a window! All my working (in an office) life I treasured a desk near a window! Now that I have been working from home I am always at a window. Such magical big sky and clouds and daily birds and nature windows! As long as I can see the sky. It doesn’t matter if it’s sunny or rainy. I cherish a rainy day. 

Today I anticipate a big snow storm. To sit and watch the snow fall and accumulate before my eyes while I work are the simple pleasures that I live for. All I need. After work, I can sit and read at my windows and watch the cars going by. Always going “somewhere”. Always a place to be. I always wonder where they are going. What is “home” like for them? Does their heart race because a familiar car is in the driveway? Or does their heart sink? I have felt both those emotions. Now, I am at an even keel. I am lucky to have window sit spots in many areas of my home. My most favorite of all, coffee at the kitchen window on the weekend mornings. I sometimes get up before the sunrise so I can watch it rise up behind the trees. 

I used to spend so much money on vacations and cabin rentals and I would waste it all by coming home early because of anxiety and panic attacks. I have learned my lesson! When the travel bug urge happens, and oh it does! I have numerous reminders every where and on auto email to tell me NO. I have learned that everything I need is right here. In my home, in my yard. On my porch. In my sunroom. I do not have to drive hours to achieve solitude and serenity. 

I am very lucky to have this wonderful old and cozy home with all its nooks and crannies of safe and comfort. My newish minimalist attitude and lifestyle brings me peace and security and molds right into what is best for me to live a good and satisfied life. My only decision is which sit spot window do I choose?

                                                            

                                                             

           

Weekend of pure nothing

….it started many many years ago. My daughter would go spend holidays with her dad and his family. She was so little and should be with her family on these wonderful occasions.  I got used to being alone by myself. If you can survive holidays by yourself you can survive anything. People would invite me to join them. I went a few times but its not the same borrowing someone else's family. 

Over the years I would look forward to long weekends in the same PJ's for days. I would make a turkey and relish the alone time. 

Over the years I slowly started to become a bit of a hermit. I think it started after my second divorce, I lived on the 3rd floor of an apartment building and had to buzz visitors in. I would never buzz them in. I pretended I wasn't home. I remember friends calling to say they were stopping over and I would get irked, they were infringing on my alone time. 

I would move out to the sticks. I lived way out in the boonies. I relished my country homes and the long drives to work and no visitors. Then I got my dream job working from home. I have worked from home ever since. And slowly I withdrew more and more from the world. 

Oh I would venture out, but on my terms. On my whims.

Now its been a way of life. Only letting a few friends in my inner circle. 

I Yabba dabba doooooo on Fridays and am so delighted with the prospect of a whole weekend ahead of me. I now purposely do not make plans. I have a sticky note in big letters that says No Plans = No Cancel.  

Now its the Internet stopping over uninvited. For years I was hooked on Facebook. I still get sucked in sometimes. I do use social media to research and keep up with things I am interested in. I listen to Podcasts all day while I work. I would sometimes rent cabins in Allegany just because there was no Internet or cell service. Now on the weekends I turn off all the tech. I read in silence. Or journal in silence looking outside at my nature. During the summer I created the no tech on the porch or sunroom rules. 

This weekend is a weekend of pure nothing. I wander from my kitchen table and window onto the back yard to my sit spot in the love seat in front of the fire place with candles lit inside. I look out onto my neighborhood or read one of my many books. In the summer its the front porch or the sun room. I literally could sit and just watch the clouds drift by. 

Oh I am not ashamed to admit I am a binge TV watcher as well. I have my collection of TV series DVDs and my latest obsession I have found full episodes of all my Soap Operas on YouTube. I am currently on All My Children 2004. I started at 1980. I love to cook and I cook up a storm. Then to Instagram my food. I am obsessed  with cooking shows too. Tons of them. Oh how I love my little world here. I have my 2 dogs to keep me company. They make me laugh. They enable me to shut out the world but not feel alone. The only time I feel alone is when I'm on my 10th beer. I am so glad I never have to feel alone like that again. 

I have visions of getting in my truck and traveling for 3 weeks to Vancouver and California when I retire in  a few years. But once I get that travel urge out of my system, I will relish my alone time in my most fabulous home. 

That is all in the future. For now I have a lot of nothing to do...……..

Minimizing and Budgeting

I've been on a roll! Doing so well. Life is good, thank you God.

My house looks better and better getting rid of stuff. When I think I can't minimize any more, I do and it looks awesome! My grocery budget is going into gear for the second time this Friday. I had wheedled it down to 3 stores for specific things. ALDI being the number 1. I must try to get everything I can there first. I'm sure I can weedle more. 
I have a confession..... I have not touched my closet. And it's not really a closet. It's a small room next to my room. The closet in my room is BARE NEKKID. Yes! it's empty! Cuz last spring I emptied it because of that oh you know, if you want a man in your life you need to make room for him. So i did that and ordered a second night stand. For years I had decided I no longer ever want a romantic relationship. I certainly did not want sex! I've been alone a very long time and I like it. Last spring I must have lost my mind for a little while. I'm back to my old lady thinking of no man- thank you! Oh, so my closet, I will tackle this weekend. Down to just what I love to wear. Season appropriate. 
I am keeping a good and bad list. Some examples of the list Good = 20$ gas for 2 weeks! Found the dog food cheaper per can, Netti pot instead of Claritin D. Bad= Drive thru lunch twice. tasted terrible.  But I'm learning from my mistakes. I still have a bunch of individual frozen home made soups. I hard boiled eggs for egg salad and I've added bacon for BLTs. I can use the iceberg lettuce for the egg salad, BLT and tuna sandwiches for lunch. Don't those sound better than crappy drive thru? 
I inundate myself listening to budget and minimizing podcasts, and books (free using Libby app and Kindle) I found a cooking show Struggle meals on my cord cutting Philo app! I am embracing this lifestyle and it's not painful! It feels so good. I feel good. I only do, eat, wear read etc what I love! I do have to say I am not as picky as most people so a lot of this is easy to do. 

So I saved the best for last. I always need my sweet in the evening. I have been doing my jello with cool whip. but.......my fav thing in the world is cut out cookies. Look what I just made for FREE. With stuff I already have. Which will taste better than anything store bought. Life is goooooooood...........

Day 30

If I was in AA

Day 26

Good Morning 🌞 are my 2 favorite words in the whole  world right now 💕💕💕

Day 24

Much to say! (Long) 

So I don't know if my minimalism/budget ideas are a "result" of not drinking. Not a direct result or just more of life getting better once you are committed to changing your life for the good. 

Minimalism is not new to me. 4 years ago yes, I had the Marie Kondo book and after reading I did do a deep dive cleaning of my home: of old unmatched dishes and got one good set. I got rid of all the "just in case 12 people stop over for dinner" dishware, glasses etc. Because that surely was not going to happen. I cleaned out my closet. But alas, that was 4 years ago. 

There is much to my madness and that is why the minimizing/budget "thing" came to be a week ago. I need to call it something better. My ultimate GOAL is to retire as soon as I can now that I am 60. In 2 years I can retire and collect SSI. Not smart, as I wont get full $. I doubt I can do it at 62, but maybe 63? I just don't want to work. I just want to sit home and do NOTHING. The sooner I get rid of my truck payment, the sooner I can retire. 

So my thoughts are to put as much money I can toward the truck to pay it off sooner. I have a large top of the line luxury truck yes, cuz 

1. I worked my ass off all my life and mainly drove embarrassing hoopdies. So I deserve it. 2. It's a well made truck and will need it for these winters( if I choose to leave the house) and it will last me at least 20 years. Or more. 

I have been listening to Minimalist podcasts and Budget podcasts. So these 2 things go hand in hand in my plans. The people in the budget podcasts are mainly trying to get out of large debt and large student loans. I don't have any of that. I do have some credit cards and the truck. So I am using the same tools to reduce the $ I owe. I already have learned to live a simple minimized life and enjoy simple things, these habits will help me even more in my retirement. 

Walk with me down my path on how this all melds together. Minimizing the home just makes living in it better. Putting all my stacks of "Books to read" piles away on the shelves just removed my guilt on not being able to sit and read them NOW. I know what books are new, I will pick one at a time to read. I usually am reading 3 at a time which actually defeats soaking in the book. Part of the Minimizing is "Keeping only what I LIke/LOVE.  I have decided to only read books that are RIVITING and  keep my interest. I buy books on a whim and feel like I HAVE to read them, and I force myself to struggle thru something that is just not doing it for me, thus why I have 3 current books to read, thus why I procrastinate. No more. 1 book at a time and only if I LOVE it. I have a Kindle as well and will try to get books from the Library on it. I already am able to read tons of magazines for free from the Library on my iPad. 

Here comes the good part. So I cleaned out the refrigerator. I threw out stuff I bought thinking oh this is interesting. Dressings, that sounded good but were not really. I wont even tell you how many times I throw out salad mix. I buy with good intentions. But I ALWAYS throw it out. I only love salads in restaurants. That is a fact. I cleaned out the freezer. I moved on to my spice cupboard and Pantry. Let me just tell you. I threw out stuff that expired in 2016. I have a thing of poppy seeds I swear since 2003. 

Not only does everything look sparse but pleasing to the eye. I can now see what I have. 

One thing that struck me when listening to the podcasts. One girl was determined to lower her debt and said she didn't care if she ate PBJs for lunch every day for years. Yes, it hit a cord with me. So I sat down and created a menu for 2 weeks, since I get paid bi-weekly. I just started making soups for lunch which curbed my drive thru lunch habit. So I included that. I listed ONLY MEALS I LIKE.  I mean, how many times has healthy Cyndie gone shopping and then fat Cyndie throws that stuff out. Bags of Lentils and Quinoa that expired in 2018 were thrown. Not saying my meals are bad. I am doing Taco Tuesdays. Meatless Mondays are roasted veggies, squash, beets fennel yams and brussels. All my favs.

But all meals I LOVE. That I can sustain to eat for a while. I then created my shopping list. and I will buy nothing else! Because I am committed to save save save. No more buying stuff that looks "interesting" that I will never eat. LIke the Black pasta made out of beans that I threw out. All savings go toward paying off credit cards. Smallest amount to largest. Once all those are down. The money that was toward credit cards goes to extra on the truck. 

So yesterday was my first grocery shop with my new list. Can I just say I spent less than I normally did in ages! And now that I have a set menu my fridge and cupboards are not stuffed with unrecognizable things. This habit is starting to affect other parts of my life. I even minimized my purse! Its small, good quality. I got rid of all the crap on my car keys and only kept the Tops fob. I minimized my Apple music I never use and Apple storage was lowered from 2.99 to .99 a month. I have free storage with Google and Prime. So I cleaned out half my pics. You know those extra pics that take up space.  I will do the rest this weekend. I am also doing my closet this weekend. I have done it before, but for some reason it has "grown" out of control again. I am not throwing out or donating. I am moving what I don't need to storage upstairs so that in my retirement when I am on a fixed income I can go "shop" upstairs. Same as with all my books and dishes. All goes in the basement so I can do garage sales in my retirement years if I should need $.  I am not going to be destitute. I will be comfortable, especially since my habits are now being honed to minimize my spending and learning to be happy with what I have. My home is so comfortable with good quality furniture. I already cut the cord 2 months ago. What a savings there! 

I am keeping a Good and Bad list of my minimizing buget "thingee".  To keep track.

I am so excited about all this and if feels really really good doing this. It gives me more control of my life and my happiness. 

And did you notice I didn't even mention anything about drinking? That was on purpose. I don't even think about it either. 



#budget #minimize #retirement

Day 19

Weekend over! I am doing well! I took myself to see Joker on Saturday. Man I really liked that movie! I know, so many people say it is dark. And this Hallmark channel chick usually stays away from dark, but once in a while something grabs my shadow heart. I do not resonate with the character. I am nothing like Arthur, my family was nothing like his. I just thought the movie was something and loved the ending when Joker got his swagger. 
....and then leaving the movie to come home, I was energized, I wanted to connect with people so bad. I knew friends were at certain bars. But I couldn't bring myself to go. I felt sooooooooo lonely driving home, but I did not drink. Once I got home I was fine. See this is why over the last years I became a hermit. In the safety of my home I do not have to endure the public. I can be home and not feel emotions. Not yearn for company. I just have to remove my major activity of happy hour-ing. 
So I cooked, I read, I forced myself outside because it was a gorgeous weekend. I got to watch the sunrise with coffee from my kitchen table. One of my most favorite things in the world to do. Watched cooking shows. I watched my many birds and squirrels.  But most of all. I did not drink. I wanted to. I am hoping soonday (yes I made up that word), I won't think about drinking, it will be a thing of the past. Like smoking. I haven't smoked in wow almost 20 years. I would like drinking to be like that too.

Day 17

Easy street. Of course not drinking has always been easy for me on week days. So 17 days  has been easy so far. It's the weekends and especially a boring Saturday that challenge me. But I am feeling great right now and do not foresee any problems. I bought myself a movie ticket for 4pm matinee Saturday. I'm gonna bring my own candy but I will treat myself to popcorn. 

So here is what has been happening since I made my decision to quit drinking. I saw this documentary last week and suddenly decided to move toward vegeterian.  I have always been heading that way but now I can make decisions for myself and STICK to them. I am saying "moving toward" instead of making declarations. 1. I love meat so I need to do this slowly. I do know how bad the meat we have available to us now is bad, as well as dairy. I'm getting there. 2. I do have some good meat in the freezer, I don't want to waste. Sad excuse I know.

Also, I have been listening to minimalist podcasts. I've already been practicing for a while but getting more tips. As a result of that I found frugal financial podcasts and Dave Ramsey podcasts and I just finished creating my debt spreadsheet. I'm going to pay down all my credit cards. And once those are paid off the $ I used for the cards I will put extra on my truck. Once my truck is paid off I want to retire. I don't have a lot of debt. I do have a bunch of credit cards but i'm not over extended or in high numbers. Highest balance (not counting Pottery Barn) is 1500$ 

I feel renewed. I am repairing many areas of my personal life. Wait maybe repair isn't the best word. Enhancing. I am enhancing an already good life that I have. I just had a revelation writing this. My life is awesome. It is happy, it's just when I drink on the weekends is when it gets dark and distorted. I can do this. 

Day 13

I got past the full moon. That was pretty big. Saturday the usual urges came up and I just pushed thru them. I had morning plans with a friend, but as soon as I got home that lonely feeling and boredom of what am I gonna do now, set in. I allowed myself to feel the feelings. and not ignore or drown them out. I read a little, I made a nice dinner. I looked out at my nature. Group cousin text that makes me feel good and connected. Sunday was busy too! Yoga!  I went to an animal sanctuary, brought my sick cousin a heated blanket, drove thru a childhood neighborhood thinking I might like to live there again, Core Life early dinner, shopping. I would not have been able to do that hung over in front of the tv. For a relaxing weekend I sure got a lot done. 

I think I have to just feel the feelings when the urges come. Accept them. Lonely? I guess so. But I choose this. I thrive in my solitude. I just have to remember that. I did feel the urges, not enough to want to drink tho. I'm sure those will come often. But I have a things to do list a mile long! I will be ok.

                                                      me at morning coffee....

Day 8

Synchronicities. I have been living in the Spiritual realm for many many years now. Slowly, learning and transforming since the late 90’s. It has improved my life drastically.

When I’m not drunk. 

During the day I am a floating cosmic wonderful being. My life is awesome! It has improved many times over. I achieved EVERY goal I set for myself. Dream job, dream car, dream home a few times. God Spoils me. I practice gratitude every day. Today I noticed something. I do a morning ritual where I thank God for this beautiful day in advance, I know it is beautiful because you are in my life, please be with me and guide me.  Guide me. I have been saying that sentence every morning of my life since late 90’s. Yes. I Do. I used to say it while driving to work. Now I say it at my desk at home before I begin work. 

I have not been following what I asked. I asked God to guide me. I got signs all the time. But I kept drinking. I remember very drunk nights. Very. Screaming at God, screaming…..where are you? My view of my life is very different on my 11th beer. 

When I finally set my intentions, WITH MY HEART this time. 3 people that I love with all my heart that I may never see, are the incentive of my intention. Since I set my intentions to not drink anymore with honest love and conviction, so many synchronicities happened. Because I let God GUIDE ME.  I am actually talking to my brother and his family again, I haven’t since 2012. And the rest of my family! My cousins, we talk almost daily! Cousins I haven’t talked to in years. I am slowly getting the family I miss from childhood back. Those are the big synchronicities. There are also many smaller ones that are improving my life on a daily basis. 

When you ask God to guide you. You need to let him. That is when things you can't even imagine happen. For the better.  Thank you God for being in my life. 

Day 5

I feel great! I went to the Phil Collins concert had a blast. I did not have to be wasted to enjoy it. I intended to enjoy myself and I didn't have to drive. I had a great Saturday lunch and shopping with a long time friend. She is supporting me in my sobriety and offered to be someone to count on if needed. Driving home it was a beautiful sunny autumn day. I got to sit in the sun room and enjoy it, normally I would have been holed up in my bar upstairs. Away from the sun and fresh air, the breeze and the birds. I mowed the lawn. Sunday I was not hung over and laying on the couch all day, I was able to make 2 soups to freeze for my lunches. 

Don't get me wrong. I am aware of this bliss. I won't fool myself. It's only been 5 days so this is the easy part. I know I have a harder road the more days that come. That is when I will need to be strong. I have told 3 close friends so far. They support my decision. And I am very grateful that they are not big drinkers so I can count on doing things with them. I am well aware that this is just the beginning, the easy part. But I AM COMMITTED!

There is no limit to the life you can create Sober!

Day 3

Going smoothly, but the beginning has always gone smoothly. The longest I have gone without alcohol is 15 days. So this is easy. What I would like to get back to is how I was 5 years ago. I hardly drank at all! I remember having a 12 pack of beer in the basement fridge bought for the holidays, that sat there for months! 8 months! I am trying to remember what occupied me so much that I didn't feel the need to drink. That is what I want to get back to. I don't know how this morphed into me wanting to have what I call my "happy hours".  At least I was home and not driving. Around the summer of 2017 I stopped going OUT to bars. I was so fed up going out by myself and standing around like a jerk. Maybe drinking at home alone got really comfy! Maybe that is why I started to do it more often. 

It was never fun. I always feel so good when I have a productive weekend. I want more of that. That is my goal. So day 3 has been good. I am going to a big concert in the city tonite. I have no desire to drink. I will not because I will have other people in my car. 

Day 1

You are a good and wonderful person. You are not your parents history. You are not your parent's terrible choices. You were a bystander when those choices were made. Yes, they affected you greatly - but you are strong enough to move away from that now. Your eyes are on the future horizon ahead of you. Able to not make those choices your parents made. 

Thank you God, I know that was you. Thank you for giving me incentive that I should have seen so many years ago.