Weekend over! I am doing well! I took myself to see Joker on Saturday. Man I really liked that movie! I know, so many people say it is dark. And this Hallmark channel chick usually stays away from dark, but once in a while something grabs my shadow heart. I do not resonate with the character. I am nothing like Arthur, my family was nothing like his. I just thought the movie was something and loved the ending when Joker got his swagger.
....and then leaving the movie to come home, I was energized, I wanted to connect with people so bad. I knew friends were at certain bars. But I couldn't bring myself to go. I felt sooooooooo lonely driving home, but I did not drink. Once I got home I was fine. See this is why over the last years I became a hermit. In the safety of my home I do not have to endure the public. I can be home and not feel emotions. Not yearn for company. I just have to remove my major activity of happy hour-ing.
So I cooked, I read, I forced myself outside because it was a gorgeous weekend. I got to watch the sunrise with coffee from my kitchen table. One of my most favorite things in the world to do. Watched cooking shows. I watched my many birds and squirrels. But most of all. I did not drink. I wanted to. I am hoping soonday (yes I made up that word), I won't think about drinking, it will be a thing of the past. Like smoking. I haven't smoked in wow almost 20 years. I would like drinking to be like that too.
