Sunday, October 12, 2014

Oh the places I have been!

I thank God over and over for my wonderful life. Yes, it took a long time and the road to get here was impossibly hard But I kept on moving forward. Sometimes the efforts and mistakes hurt so bad, and I was utterly alone. No family at my side. I had purposely kept my blood family away because they were not supportive in my struggles to do better. It was just reprimands and constant reminders of all my mistakes. Never a hug, or I am here for you, or let's figure this out together. No. It was hard for me to try to change horrible habits instilled in me from a shitty unloving childhood. But I did and constant pointing to my past just didn't help. What did help? Friends. Friends that over the years stayed by my side every step of the way. Who picked me up when I was so down. Who shared the bad and now the good times of my life. These few souls are my real family. Those bleak days are now behind me. I have learned so much on how to over come and my life has been charmed beyond my own dreams. I thank God for my friends who were always there; for now we live and laugh and have each other to enjoy these good days. I can't begin to explain my daily positive life of adventures. I like it this way. That is why I have no use for the negative nellies to point out my shortcomings of over 25 years ago. That's the past. I have forgiven myself. I have a lot of love in my soul, but only for my friends who truly love me with no strings, expectations or rules. 

Friday, September 26, 2014


My lawyer and my 2 cousin's who are NY State Troopers would like a word with you.  You will be hearing from them shortly.


Sunday, June 15, 2014

Revelation: My GED

I have a GED. Yep, my parent's never instilled in me growing up how important a college or any education is. My mother since I was small wanted me to earn money the easy way, get famous or marry a Rich Dr was her mantra. Even my childhood friends remember her mantra. So in high school I didn't even think about going to college. I didn't know you were supposed to get good grades starting in jr high in preparation for life. I was sooo naive being raised by a mom not from this country I just was oblivious to the way a mother was to raise a daughter. Forget Dad he was in another state by the time I was 12.
So I don't have the normal instincts everyone else around me has.

I have a GED but on my own, in my own survival I make more money that both my parents put together. I don't have a family. I didn't back then either.  I don't have that warm fuzzy gene in my bones. Was not raised with it.  TRIED to get it by marrying men with large families…..could not handle it.    And of course,  I must bear the consequences of my parents non family type of way they
raised (used very lightly here) me.

The family I have now created is  a very very very few I allow into my life. People I cherish that treat me as Cyndie. The person I am today.  They don't bring up all my past issues, they don't throw in my face things that happened 20 years ago, and some can, like my cousin Ursula. She could easily throw in my face the years I did not talk to her. Does she? no, she accepts me as me.  And loves me. And that is why I would never ever do that to her again.
Because of the way my parents "raised" me I have trouble getting close to people. It scares me.  I don't know what I am supposed to do.  So I run.  But these  4 people take me back every time with open arms and they are my family and always will be.  Thats all I need. So Happy Fathers day to them today!
Happy Family day to you, Ursula, Katherine, Terri and Barb.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

My first published photo!

Well sorta, it appeared on TV.  I didn't see it but a friend on FB did and took the  pic for me! 
I have been taking pictures for quite some time now. Since I bought that awesome EasyShare in Denver in 2005. Now that I have the Sony Cybershot DSC HX200v (twice) 
I have started taking it seriously. I still call myself an amateur Nature Photographer, but 
I have been going to Saturday morning Photoshop classes and now I have joined the 
TCCC, Twin Cities Camera Club, which is part of several clubs so I can go to a number
of lectures and now I can have my photo's critiqued as well as learn so much more about
And Nature photography hikes!!! Even in winter they have been exhilarating. Here are two of my favorites.

Sometimes on a hike and hundreds of photos I only get one really good one. But it's worth it. 

I was gong through my photos and found this from one of my kayak outings when I lived on Tampa Bay.  Breathtaking! 

I think I am on to something. I have a hobby that gets me out, and now I am joining clubs and classes where I can meet people that like the same things.  I am definitely going to enter some competitions as well.