Sunday, June 15, 2014

Revelation: My GED

I have a GED. Yep, my parent's never instilled in me growing up how important a college or any education is. My mother since I was small wanted me to earn money the easy way, get famous or marry a Rich Dr was her mantra. Even my childhood friends remember her mantra. So in high school I didn't even think about going to college. I didn't know you were supposed to get good grades starting in jr high in preparation for life. I was sooo naive being raised by a mom not from this country I just was oblivious to the way a mother was to raise a daughter. Forget Dad he was in another state by the time I was 12.
So I don't have the normal instincts everyone else around me has.

I have a GED but on my own, in my own survival I make more money that both my parents put together. I don't have a family. I didn't back then either.  I don't have that warm fuzzy gene in my bones. Was not raised with it.  TRIED to get it by marrying men with large families…..could not handle it.    And of course,  I must bear the consequences of my parents non family type of way they
raised (used very lightly here) me.

The family I have now created is  a very very very few I allow into my life. People I cherish that treat me as Cyndie. The person I am today.  They don't bring up all my past issues, they don't throw in my face things that happened 20 years ago, and some can, like my cousin Ursula. She could easily throw in my face the years I did not talk to her. Does she? no, she accepts me as me.  And loves me. And that is why I would never ever do that to her again.
Because of the way my parents "raised" me I have trouble getting close to people. It scares me.  I don't know what I am supposed to do.  So I run.  But these  4 people take me back every time with open arms and they are my family and always will be.  Thats all I need. So Happy Fathers day to them today!
Happy Family day to you, Ursula, Katherine, Terri and Barb.