Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Content on Christmas

I sit here on the lanai. Content. My two little angels at my feet. And I do something I like to do now and then. I proceed to read my spiritual journal. I read about where I was a year or more ago. I was then, in a spiritual "waiting room" wondering where my destiny would take me. Always in gratitude for what God gives me. I was in limbo. I still sort of am. But since then, I started a new job, a job that was the delight of my heart and now a reality. Because of this awesome job I have moved to Florida! of all places! In my writings of a year ago, this was not a single thought or option. But here I am. Unfortunately,
it hasn't been the successful trip I wanted it to be, but maybe that was not what was in the cards any way. One goal was accomplished in my life. The woman and personality that my daughter dislikes. The very actions and personality she sees in me that she is so against---At least she did not grow up and take on the same traits. That was my goal. That she not be like me. I think destiny is telling me my work here is done. I like Florida but I don't know what the hell I am doing here now. 
So I am ending the year having learned and accomplishing much this year! 
The anticipation of 2013! I direct my new year to be filled with ease and joy and bliss. I am in a place (both physically and spiritually) that is by far so much better that where I was a year ago. I have my heart centered and in the right place. As always, Thank you God for my awesome life. Thank you for bringing me this far in my path. Where I continue, I wait for your guidance. Today, I relish where I am now. I miss my friends and up North so much sometimes. I don't know tho, if returning would be a good idea. It would be going backward maybe. I need to get out more, explore more thats for sure! 

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Christmas dinner

So I am reading my book by Denise and Meadow Linn The Mystic Cookbook. About food and spirituality and alchemy. I am in the very beginning and they are discussing childhood foods. And I started to think about my favorite childhood foods, which of course were the fabulous foods my mother made for me.The house smelled of garlic and ginger and bay leaves and the windows were all steamed up and a bottle of Pepsi accompanied all our meals!  Panciet was the  best! How I loved panceit and how I don't make it often. As a matter of fact the only 2 times I tried to make it since my mother died over 20 years ago was for my BROTHER!!  I made it for him. The last time I made it for him and his family and my daughter. I gave them the recipes so that they could carry on their grandmother’s tradition. My one niece didn't even show up for the dinner. If this isnt some kind of a sign of me trying to reach out to my family, to try to do something nice I don't know what is. ohhhhh But I am the bad person of the family. I know I sound like a broken record, but if I dont reach out to my family well, then I never hear from them. I don’t ever recall anyone in my family trying to do something nice like this for me. Ever.

So this Christmas I will make panciet for myself. At least my mother will be with me in spirit. 

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Return to home

Destination unknown at this point. Coming back from a business trip I could not wait to see my boys. They are my home. They are the only joy in my life right now and I thank God for my precious little souls. They have been on every adventure with me. My touchstones. They bring me into my heart, they make me laugh. They comfort me when I cry. 

I have friends I cherish with my whole heart that I miss terribly. But I feel I need to be on this journey for now, I am open to what God has in store for me. I trust he knows what I need. He has guided me correctly so far. As long as I have my little loves I can  go where ever God leads me.