Sunday, November 22, 2015

Vegetarian?

Well, I have subscribed to Vegetarian Times for years now, I was drawn in by the recipes but I was never a vegetarian.  I haven't had cows milk in years. I have always liked tofu. I have been intrigued and  I leaned toward that way but always ate burgers, steak, pork and chicken. And then something happened a few weeks ago. I even joined a 21 day Vegetarian challenge but that didn't do it. I would get the daily challenge emails and I finally unsubscribed because I really didn't think I could do it. Then one Saturday afternoon I was starving and in a rush so I grabbed a frozen burger and threw it in the iron skillet. I browned both sides and I thought I had cooked it all the way through. So as I cut into the middle of the burger it squirted blood out at me. It was the strangest thing! I took a bite of the side cuz it was more cooked and I was starved. But that was it. I couldn't eat it. I couldn't even put it back into the pan. Something  snapped in my brain. Was it the Vegan podcasts I had been listening to for months: Main Street Vegan or Compassionate Cook? Was it my yoga? Was it the mantra Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu before my favorite Jivamukti yoga practice? Was it looking in my dogs eyes? Was it a little bit of everything in my life the last few years pushing me toward this?  What ever it is, I am grateful that something in me will not allow me to eat land animals any more. I am telling everyone I know that I am "moving" toward being vegetarian. Baby steps. I still eat farm eggs, cheese and fish. I love my Almond and coconut milks. I have even found hemp and quinoa milks. So I don't think this will be hard. It hasn't yet and its been about 2 weeks now. In a few days it will be my FIRST vegetarian Thanksgiving. I am going to make a Tofurkey!!! 
Thank goodness for Amazon Prime. I was able to find Fair Trade Organic cocoa mix and vegan organic marshmallows for my sweet tooth.  When I pick up my Tofurkey I think I will grab some vegan cheeses. Right now I have been doing whole wheat pasta and veggies. My most favorite meal right now is portobello mushrooms and gravy over a baked organic potato. I am not going to be a junk food vegetarian and I am not going to fall for a lot of the processed stuff out there. The 3 reasons I am doing this, in this order:
1. To be compassionate toward animals. Practicing Ahimsa 
2. For health and aging reasons. 
3. Safety - we can never be sure what is out there now, what is in what we buy. The animals are not even quality meat any more because of the way they are raised. 

Well this is a new journey for me, and I am the queen of quitting. But for some reason I do see this becoming part of my life. I refuse to die early the way my parents did. So I have to change my eating habits to become healthier. To age gracefully. Oh I didn't mention its been 65 days since I quit drinking too. I am on the road to changing my life for the better. Now if I could just make myself LOVE to do yoga EVERY day, my life would be complete! Maybe hypnotism! hmmmmmm 


A simple shift answers all my questions

I made my own kitchen island with shelves and a large piece of wood. Bar height and bar height chairs. The chairs were just not comfortable. Nowhere to put your feet. So, you know typical weekend morning, my mind is whirring. hmmmm if I take the bricks off the shelves I can have a normal height table, chairs....oh! I have gorgeous wooden chairs I garbage picked in the garage. The result is not as gorgeous but it is comfortable! I can now sit at the table for hours and watch my birdies and squirrels. As I am sitting here I notice an even more positive change. And it dominoes from there. As I am sitting here in a lower chair, I can now see the sky! And in the sky I see the neighborhood hawk hovering in the clouds! This is awesome. 
All summer I kept toying with the idea of what to do with my deck? My ultimate dream was to build a glass sunroom with accordion glass doors from the kitchen. I wanted a glass roof so I could sit in the sun room and gaze at the clouds drifting by and at night look at the stars and moon overhead.  I went to visit a friend 3 streets down and she has a nice glass sunroom. In the exact location as mine on the south side of the house. She told me she can't even walk thru the sunroom in the summer it gets so hot. That was good to know because I don't use my deck because it gets so hot. I could spend 20,000$ on a glass sun room and not be able to use it. Since then I have decided to just get a nice patio umbrella for the deck and fix it up with lots of pots of flowers and my 2 simple adirondack chairs. 
Now sitting at my new table,  I can see the clouds go by and at night I will come here and have a cup of tea and gaze at the stars, from my really cozy kitchen! This table is good for now but now that I already have these gorgeous chairs I can paint them white and order that beautiful white round Pottery Barn table I have been wishing for.  My home is my sanctuary and it gets better and better every day and I am the one doing all the work to make it so homey!!  One small simple shift and I have solved my questions and save thousands of dollars and disappointment.



Wednesday, July 08, 2015

What is it like not to be taken care of?

I am listening to a call in talk radio show, a woman is upset her brother is taking all of her father's inheritance. She said she was counting on that for her retirement.  Sorry about that lady. It got me to thinking. What is it like to be taken care of? To have parents that saved for your college? That built up a wonderful life and a nice big inheritance? I don't know. That is for tight knit families that all grew up loving each other and took care of each other. Families that taught their children how to pay bills and set money aside for "later".  I don't know what it is like to have someone take care of me. Some women may even have husbands that make them feel secure. I don't even have someone that buys me birthday or Christmas presents. Man, thats pretty sad. Everything I do I have to do it myself. Even now that I have bought my own home. There are some things around here I would like to do but I can't because as a woman I never learned how to do them. I need a man for some things. I hire lawn and snow removal. And here and there, like my new sink. 

Is it me? Is my need to be so independent the reason why I don't have a man in my life? 

I wish I could meet someone that would be so excited to give me a Christmas present. I wish I knew that anticipation. Instead I dread the holidays. Because they represent and remind me of everything I don't have. I know I want to blame my shitty childhood, Is it my fault that I am here? 

Tuesday, May 05, 2015

Gratitude, thank you God for my awesome life

I thank God every day for my great life. It was not easy to get here but now my life is simple and happy. Little things make me happy, a great recipe, the birds at the feeder in my back yard. I have a female cardinal that has been pecking my kitchen window every day for 3 months. I love her. I don't know who she is (they say people who have passed come to you as birds, she has a mate so its not mom) or just watching a beautiful full moon from my deck. Since I have bought my house and set my intention of putting down roots, my life just gets better and better. The real key is to thank God not only in the good but also during the bad. God keeps us on our toes to teach us. I am truly blessed.

My newest obsession is Milk paint and I have converted my garage into my painting workshop since my car is too big to fit into my garage.  I have already obtained some cool furniture pieces to repaint. I got a great headboard I will make into a bench. My goal is to be part of Lockport's Garden Walk next year since that is how I found my beautiful home last year!

Its amazing the things you can do when you wake up refreshed and have the whole weekend to do fun things, I gave up alcohol and its the best thing I ever did.  I do have an occasional drink but I do not drink to get drunk. I have nothing that makes me feel so bad about myself that makes me want to drown out my life. I would rather get up early to go to the farmers market and Estate sales, than to waste a full sunny day on the couch.  Now I can read great books in my sunroom and watch the boys play in the yard.

or read the Sunday paper on the front porch.

Thank you God for my home and awesome life.