Friday, July 30, 2010


My day is complete! And it is only 7:30 a.m.! A smile just for me from a man I have a really good feeling about.
Really good.

Can this day get any better? Only 10:45 and I just did the most amazing chakra balancing yoga outside under the pear tree! I feel soooo exhilarated!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Transformation Vacation

I am on the porch with my coffee and Mother Earth News. They are offering a DVD 40 years for 40$ I plan to purchase. It is every article ever published in Mother Earth the last 40 years! I think that is a GOOD deal, especially if I plan to retire to a Duro shed in the middle of the woods. My retirement plans change on a daily basis. So much so that in my daily notebook I have a spot I have bookmarked, "Current Retirement Plans".
Well for the next 12 days I have several really good books and lots of yoga and exercise planned. If you do not hear from me that is because I have decided to go "off grid" from everything. I have communicated with the only two people in the world that need to know why they may not hear from me. The only two people I talk to on a daily basis that are and have been what I would call the Truest of friends!!! Unconditional Friends. Hey, see, I have learned something already in my
transformation vacation first morning!
Oh the possibilities of a vacation ahead of me..................

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

90 Days of Yoga - Day 8-10 Lunar Yoga

We have had 2 lunar eclipses, June 26 and July 11, major for me Capricorn. My horoscope says that means BIG changes will come into my life. Eclipses are a sign of endings. Endings of things or relationships that are not working in your life to make room for things that are better. As I read those words for the last few months I panicked. I knew exactly who they were talking about. Its not like I haven't tried to extract Jeffery or feelings for Jeffery before. But there just seem to be times I just want to hold on kicking and screaming and never let go. Only because well 1, he was the BEST. And 2, it was so familiar. But I do send all of the Jeffery in my life out to the universe now. With good thoughts.

So today to honor the lunar eclipses altho I am a few days behind I will do my Moon Salutations!
I am SO ready for the next chapter of my life. I have learned in the last few weeks due to some cosmic prodding NOT to return to the same old same old, even if it is another man other than Jeffery. I have been reminded that allot of the important men in my life, (Jeffery, Frank, even John) have treated me like an after thought. Some thing they will get to when all the important OTHER things have been emptied. Number 5 on every one's list of priorities, and I am so tired of the boring and mundane. and the waiting waiting waiting. If I want that, I will remain alone very happily.

I have always heard, if a man wants you, he will go after you!!! Remember that ladies. NEVER chase a man!

With that said, oh I am so very happy! The man in my neighborhood that I have adored from afar is, well I cannot say actively after me, but well, yes actually he IS. Would you say being parked right in front of my car looking for me to come out of the the gas station, seeing me, getting out of his car and asking me WHERE have I been all week????? Is kind of actively pursuing? We talked and more on that another time. But all I can say is that slowly but surely, things are looking good.
And to think I almost gave him up for someone who lives so far away and really treats me like an afterthought, that would have been the OLD Cyndie, going for someone that is literally not 100% available.
So I promise I will not make all the old mistakes, God has allowed me one last soul mate, I guess I didn't use up my quota for this lifetime. I will do it all right, and nurture and let this grow. I hope my next full moon we will be gazing at it together, dreamily happy!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

90 Days of Yoga - Day 7 Heart Opening

I had to search for a heart opening yoga today because I am not very good at letting people into my life. I am reluctantly trying to shed my hermit ways. It will be 2 years in Aug I have been in the city. I had relegated my self to Gasport when I came back from Denver, that wasn't secluded enough, I moved to a farmhouse in Albion surrounded by cornfields. Ok so I was also trying to move closer to Jeffery and revive what we had in Lockport when we lived so close to each other. But it was also there I began my intensive yoga which changed my life and brought me back home.
In the yoga session I was asked to feel compassion and love, so I thought of my dogs, they always give me a really good feeling in my heart, then I was asked to expand that feeling, so I thought about the dogs in the neighborhood, it is very easy for me to love all dogs. Then I expanded good thoughts toward my neighbors, I feel that I have to send good thoughts and intentions to people that bother me to cancel out those bad thoughts. So I thought of my neighbors that irritate me on a daily basis, I started to surround our circle of homes with the healing white light of protection, then I started to expand that to the rest of my neighborhood, which to my astonishment included the guy 2 streets over I have had a crush on for 2 years that talked to me and then suddenly disappeared and to my cousin 2 streets the other way that I have not been having very good thoughts about. I surrounded us all with the light of protection. It may have dissipated my negative feelings but it also reinforced feelings of wanting to be a hermit and to go live in the woods and not have to deal with the complication of people. So much for heart opening. I am really good at running away. But what is so wrong about living in a little cabin in the woods with my dogs and reading, cooking and doing yoga everyday??????

Saturday, July 10, 2010

90 Days of Yoga - Day 4 - 6 Balance

I have been trying to get up early to do yoga in the morning. Not every morning but that may soon come. I have been reading allot of Yoga articles and books, (and listening to yoga talk podcasts!) the past few days also and there seemed to be a running theme, (of course I do not believe in coincidences) BALANCE. At first it seems so simple, I have learned to balance things in my life, right? Career is no longer my numero uno, now that I don't devote 14 hour days to my company I am home alone with the TV. Now that I work normal hours, I no longer have a family to come home too. Cosmic joke maybe. Balance? Hmm? I guess I am still learning that one. I am an all or nothing gal. Black or white. I am not good with the grey areas in between. Action Woman or total sloth. Just one drink? ha Never, or no drinking at all all weekend. Friend or enemy. That I think is where I need to learn my balance. Not be so rigid.
But speaking of drinking! I look over at my water bottle in the morning sun, it looks so beautiful all shiny and glittery and I have written words on my water bottle, I was listening to a study by Dr Emoto that was very fascinating. I do believe that if you set your intentions and write beautiful words on your water container, the water becomes more than just water. And what a beautiful way to set your intentions, on cool clear water that goes down your throat, quenches you and is so very close to your heart and soul. Dr Emoto's water when left in a petri dish created beautiful crystals, where the water with no words only created fungus. I have heard about creating your own healing water this way years ago. I just like the beautiful intention!
Well it is a beautiful Saturday morning and I don't have any intentions for this weekend except to do yoga, eat healthy and read allot! And drink lots of water from my beautiful bottle.

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

90 Days of Yoga - Day 3 (again)

This morning I got up at 6 am and did Yoga for Blissfulness and it felt great! And I am learning to cultivate blissfulness in my day. We are in the midst of a heat wave, and my bliss is sitting here in the dark with the AC on and a fan blowing a breeze. I tried to go outside, I hosed down myself, Jasper and Jeffery but it was just too unbearable. It makes me wonder, how would I be able to live in a cabin in the woods like a hermit in a heat wave? Live by a lake? I would have to
have solar panels installed so I at least have electricity. Some days I dream of living in my own little Quietude. Oh how I would love waking up any time I want, do yoga, drink coffee and read all day. And yes, watch all the DVD's I have downloaded on my laptop in the evenings. Maybe save for the weekends. And then I remember I am NOT really good at growing veggies, or making soap! And canning scares me! I would like my Quietude close to Wegmans. And it would have to be big enough for my king size bed, L shaped leather couch and my 60 inch tv. Other than that I will be back to nature!!!! But that will be my Bliss when I retire (for now, other times I want to retire to a luxury Winnebago and eat in every restaurant in the USA, but I get panic attacks driving over the interstate....another story another time) right now my bliss is the breeze coming from the fan.........

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

I am sooooo terrible at commiting to my yoga! Maybe that should say something of it's self. During this 90 days of yoga I guess today would be, Day 15? Lets start this over again tomorrow morning shall we? Hmm that does sound like me, always starting over. And I did get 2 more yoga books in the mail, and 2 more dog books, but I am not closer to understanding my manimals either. But I still feel good. Still love life. Still happy.