Thursday, August 15, 2013

There's no place like home, I say that all the time!! NOW I get it.....

Soon! Ten more days and my wonderful friend Katherine will be flying down here just to drive home with me! We will take a nice 4 days to visit St Augustine, Myrtle Beach, Baltimore MD for crab cakes and then home! The more I think about my new home at the Remington Lofts, it is right in the middle of everything and my friends and cousin Ursula. I can have lunch with my old Fidelis friends too! 
God really guides me to the best. I just wish I didn't have so much freedom that I just pick up and move in the first place! I have no butt glue! Hahahahaha. 

I am listening to a radio show about forgiveness and if you do not forgive and hold a grudge you could get cancer.   So I thought about it. I don't have anyone to forgive, there is no one I am mad at or hold bad thoughts about. There are a few members of family that I do choose to no longer be in contact with. 
Only because we all are not close any way. They cling to terribly bad memories of me from my past. 
I have changed so much from that. In order for me to continue to grow and have peace in my life, I cannot have people in my life that drag me back to an old ghost of a person I was. 

My brother and his family have never really included me in their family activities. Birthdays or Holiday gatherings. So lets just leave it that way.  My daughter, I am just her bio-mom. Nothing more. And I accept that. There really is no place for me in her life. It would just disrupt her perfectly organized life. 
The fact that she has a wonderful life makes me happy and that is all I need to know now. The fact that she did not learn any of my awful faults makes me ecstatic. I want her to have peace NOW and not have to fight to find it over family traits and faults like I did. 

I thank God for my awesome friends and family that are so happy I am coming home! I thank God for the great job that I love that allows me to live ANYWHERE! I thank God for my boys who have been my close family now for 11 years. In my life longer than my dad or any husband, hahaha. 
I thank God for my awesome new Loft apartment. I thank God for a safe and pee our pants laughing road trip back home in a couple weeks!