Sunday, October 30, 2011

Yes you CAN change your past!

Thanks to the wonders of this wonderful world of technology, I have spent most of the afternoon in Black Rock. And I didn't even have to leave my couch. I was on Facebook on the site, I grew up in Black Rock. And I spent hours pouring over the pictures, reading other people's comments and even talking to several people I hung out with when I was a kid. First let me just say, I cannot stand it when people put down Facebook, especially people that have never been on it. How can you judge what you do not know? Because of Facebook, I have found so many friends I had not spoken to in years! I found my childhood friends, school mates, old crushes, and crushes on me I never knew about! It has brought me such joy. Answered long age old questions and allowed me closure on many things as well. On a regular daily basis I talk to all my old friends I have missed for years. We share all our joys and sorrows together again. It is so awesome to ask my highschool friends for their sauce recipe, or "Like" an old co-worker's Grandkid's pics.
So I went to my little old suitcase of my mom's pictures and looked for pictures I could post and share on the site too. Besides sneezing alot, old old pics, I found some great grade school photos to add to the Black Rock site. I know I always refer to my childhood as awful and horrible. I say that because of what I had become because of what I thought I had lacked. And there I saw it. The light and the hope and the happiness in that cute little girl's face. Look at her smile. I was so innocent and full of wanting to learn. I remember being in first grade and I always read ahead, trying to find words I didn't know. I actually was thrilled that I finally found a word I did not know, it was Ebenezer. But it took so long for our class to get to that page and I finally sounded it out and figured it out. I was too smart and it bugged me! Hahahaha.
So I have chosen to change my past. I am not going to remember the few bad things that were sprinkled into my life. I am choosing to remember the good things that adorable little girl cherished and loved unconditionally before she learned there was right and wrong. Before she knew that wishes didn't come true and that the Beatles did not play on TV from Shea's stadium every year like the Wizard of Oz came on every year.
I chose to look at the world with wide eyed innocence and expect every thing I want to come true, will come true.
I choose to remember the good memories of my childhood like my mother cooking in the kitchen, playing in the yard with all the kids from Jasper Parish projects, laughing hysterically with my best friend Sandy Strzyz. Playing Barbies with Patty and Cathy Fabian. Watching my grandma make pies with such ease! Sitting on Grandma's porch in the rocking chairs on Riverside Ave. I am only going to remember the good things from now on.

little Cindy

I owe it to this sweet adorable little girl with hopes of the brightest future to make the rest of my life as awesome and genuine and great as she expected.