Monday, October 24, 2011

In my best respectful interest

Oh I have been soul searching and reading and figuring out the whys and how’s of what I do. And what I have done that obviously is NOT working. Nothing I have done in the past has worked because –Hellooooo I live alone with 2 dogs. So I am very aware that I need to change the way I think and do things that will be in my best respectful interest to ME. One thing I am sure of, I was too shy or too scared to ask the right questions, I let obvious red flags slide. I gave but never received. I let the men call all the shots cuz I thought that was the way it was supposed to be. I would let the guy decide when we saw each other. And look where it got me….Helllllooooo I love alone with 2 dogs!!

I have to figure out what was so wrong with me that I thought it was ok to be someone's secret go to person for sex. Plain simple and dirty.  I am not stupid, I know that is what it was. Sometimes I would try to end it. I even moved to Denver once to stop being around him. But he pulled me back. He says he never did or made me do anything I didn't want to do. Yes he is right. But he didn't have to come over and visit me either. He didn't have to email me or text me, or send me pictures all the time. We both tango'ed there. I just finally want to know why I let it happen for so many years. I can blame him and say he manipulated the truth enough to keep me hanging but no, I am going to claim this myself so I can finally get over it.

So I have to start creating some new rules for my life. And I will follow these rules, because it is for my best respectful interest. And the best part of sticking to these rules, It does not matter to me if sticking to these rules keeps me alone with 2 dogs, because I love my life any way. But I would like someone to share it with. If he follows these rules. If I don’t follow these rules I will just end up with the men and crap I have had all my past…….

So men, listen up do not contact me if:

• If you are married. If you are so frigging happily married for 25 years then why are you contacting me????? If you do get divorced, don’t contact me for at least 1 year after you have been LEGALLY divorced. You need to be on your own, to heal. I don’t want your rebound baggage.

• If you are currently seeing someone. You think I don’t know? Do not contact me unless you have been alone, without a woman for at least a year. Like I said, I don’t want your baggage. If you are contacting me while you are with someone else, you have big issues. It is disrespectful to her and to me. Or you have no respect for women in general. Stay away from me.

• If you are a serial relationship hopper. Can’t be alone on your own for 1 week. If you have had more than 1 or 2 relationships a year (and you are still alone)……something is wrong with you. Stay away from me.

• Complete and utter honesty. If you cannot be honest, And yes omitting large pieces of data is lying. If you have to hide something, it must feel wrong to you. I will not tolerate lying. Don’t contact me.

• If you cannot tell anyone in your family, or your friends etc about me, then that is disrespectful to me. Like the above, you must think it is wrong if you have to hide something. Don’t contact me.

• If we do not have the same interests, then what will we do together? If you are a fat couch potato and can’t keep up with me, then don’t contact me.

• If you have the baby momma drama –ugh puhleeeze don’t contact me.

• If you have an abnormal relationship with your ex, that - We are still such good friends we still talk 3 times a week shit is crap! You are just setting up any other relationships for failure. Let her go. Don’t contact me.

• If you have the urge to tell me every fucking story about you and your ex…….DO NOT CONTACT ME.

• If you do not have the time to commit to seeing each other more than once a week, or if your schedule takes you out of town like 250 days a year, when did you think we would see each other??? Don’t contact me.

• If you feel the need to swear and say the F *bomb in front of me …don’t contact me.

• If you own a Harley Davidson, don’t contact me.

• If you can’t wine and dine me, take me out, candy, flowers, presents……don’t contact me.

• If you have Erectile Dysfunction. Do not contact me.

• If you don’t love dogs. Don’t contact me.

• If you don’t like coffee or sushi Don’t contact me.

 • If you are a Gemini GOOD GAWD Don’t contact me.

• If you smoke cigarettes, don’t contact me.

• If you do drugs or smoke pot or drink very heavily, don’t contact me.

• If we have not seen each other in 10 years, I have changed. So don’t contact me.

All of you, and God there are so many of you who continuously keep contacting me. If I am not with you now, I never will be. STOP!!!!! Its not even flattering any more.

For the highest good of myself. I am finally thinking of myself for a change. And if you can’t follow my rules, I don’t see you in my future. The thing is, I do see an awesome man that will be in my future. Someone that will treat me the best for a change. And I will do everything I can to make myself the best for him. I am working on myself and learning why I do the things I do and I have come thru with some great insights and breakthroughs. I have to respect myself first. And if its just me and my 2 dogs well, I can handle that too.