Friday, October 07, 2011

Soul Purpose?

Why should HIS daughter get a wonderful life and mine doesn't? I am reading a book on souls and why are we on this earth? Because our souls have something to experience and create? So my soul created that horrble sad childhood to make me desparate and clingy and dysfunctional enough that i would choose to let my beautiful daughter grow up with her father at a young age so that she would never be like me and feel that hole and void in her heart that I felt and still do? Dysfunctional enough so that I would feel it was my destiny to spend 8 years of my life as a secret support to a man so he would be able to raise HIS daughter to have a good life? To be his friend and confidant and slut on the down-low so it would enable him to be functional to be there and raise HIS daughter? THAT was my soul's purpose for this life? And then to be abandoned and tossed away like a paper towel that has lost its usefulness?

I don't think so.