Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Has it really been almost a year?????

March 9th was my last blog? Really? Wow, I know it has a lot to do with FaceBook. Second, since I moved here back to the city of Buffalo, this house is really like a home for me now. Maybe like songwriter's, they can't write unless they are wallowing in pain, I have no agony as my muse. And that has sooooo not been me the last year and a half. I have been embracing my life. Good and bad and the bad is not so much now. I have had just a few set backs. REAL BIG ONE's tho. One's that have completely altered my thinking and the way I do things from now on. I also think yoga is making me YOUNGER! hahahahahaha, no really. I look alot younger than I did when I came back from Denver in 2006.
Also, I was at the bookstore mid 2009 and a book caught my eye.... Merle's Door by Ted Kerasote. It is a story about a dog but 10 times better than Marley and me. Not only did I really love the book, it opened a door for myself, so to speak. The way Ted Kerasote wrote about the outdoors, mainly Wyoming, and living a natural outdoors type of life, it did two things. It made me REALLY regret moving back from Denver. And two instead of all the "spiritual" type books I have started reading more outdoors and animal books, all the books by Ted, some great ones by Jane Goodall, and my new hero Ann Labastille, the Woodswoman who built her own log homes and lived in the Adirondack mountains. Oh I can smell the camp fire already......there are other books too by Terry Tempest Williams and many many more in a stack waiting to be read. Its like a whole new world for me. A world I would love to live in some how some way. I just don't think I could hunt to keep myself alive. Maybe a really nice log home, near a stream, a few blocks from Wegman's. Well, as long as I can have a nice fire pit in the yard. I ask God all the time if I used up my lifetime supply of soul mates. I have had some great relationships and have learned to put others ahead of me. That is what will make me happy, to see the people in my life happy because of me, because I put them first, made them feel special, because they ARE. I just want a nice simple life with someone, and wouldn't it be great if he had kids? I would love to adopt or become a foster parent but I beleive it takes two parents so I won't do that to a child. I dream of a house and you look into the glowing light of the window and you see us, laughing around the dinner table, playing games, making plans. I worry that my wishes have been used up. So I guess I should start cutting down trees for my log home in the woods.........