Well it’s taken me a long time to get here and I got here kicking and screaming. Over the years I have slowly realized that it is the best thing for me. Although I KNOW I am so much fun as a drunk, I have quit drinking for a while. Why? Because alcohol turns me into an asshole. I have been doing very well getting myself together spiritually, thru soul searching and yoga. Yoga has been life changing for me for the last several years. I just need to stick with it and commit to it, at the end of this is a link to a talk by Tim Miller that has convinced me to do yoga as daily as I can. I don/t know how else to describe how transforming yoga is. Those that are yogis know exactly what I am talking about .
I have been growing in leaps and bounds and when I am feeling confident I hear some great music on the radio on the way home, I have some wine or beer or I go out with friends…….I must be allergic to alcohol. I do not like the person I become I say stupid things and send stupid emails to people that should not be in my life any way. .
So now that I am more clear headed, and yoga brings up all that is toxic in you and gets rid of it. But it gives me such clarity about the choices I make and the people I allow into my life. I don’t mean this in a full of myself way, but as one grows, some friendships diminish. And others thrive. I am very careful who I allow into my life. I have gone pretty much thru hell to get here, I will not throw it away by being influenced by people that do not have the same integrity that I am learning. Drinking made me lose my discernment and allowed me to befriend some people of lesser values. People that are just out for a good time, all the time. My life is more important to me than that. I respect people like Iyanla Van Zant and Ana T Forest, whose books I have read/reading. (and Donna Farhi, Wayne Dyer, Denise Linn, I can go on......)
I am LOVING my life! This has been the best spring and summer of my life and I almost lost it all because I thought I could drink, or hang out with “good time” friends. Are they really friends if they make me feel awful the next day? If the only time I hear from them is after 11:00 PM?
I love my new life and all that comes with it. I need to act responsibly and in charge and if that means turning my back on something that has been in my life and family as long as I was born? Heck yeah!!!! I will not allow someone of questionable character to waste my precious and valuable time. It is more satisfying to be with more grounded and real friends and people of respectability. These friends have no agenda except to be real and honest. So I mean no disrespect if I have to walk away from friends and family that no longer serve me. I have to - in order to have peace in the rest of my life.
(Another awesome man........listen Tim Miller)